Moxie’s Reverie

Hey Reader,  It’s 12:37 a.m. on October 14th. I’m chilling and wondering if my last post " What Would You Do If Your Friend Made You Feel Small? " has the right title. Then I realized that it has a colon, which I’ve learned is a sign of an AI-generated title. I panicked a bit because I didn’t want my post to sound like “AI-written”. I decided to change it to a more SEO-friendly title — a question which is the basis of the post anyway. Oops, there’s an em dash! I had also learned one early morning, while I was hurkle-durkling in bed, that people now believe a post with an em dash was written by AI! Oh my! What an invention AI has brought to the world of writing! I could have sworn writers have been using an em dash since time immemorial, long before humans created Artificial intelligence.  I mean, I thought punctuation marks have always existed, but oh well!

Dear Intentional Reader,  It's 7:12 p.m. on October 10. I just started the first draft of this post over tea, but as usual, you’ll be reading the final published version. You know I had just learned that tea bags are unhealthy because they release billions of microplastics in hot water. So I’m idly thinking about that while sipping my tea and writing this. I recently had a conversation with one of my acquaintances, and we talked about friendship. To avoid any confusion, I’ll refer to her as “Nkechi”, but this is not her actual name. Ouu, I think I may have accidentally come up with a title for this post.  Update: I changed my mind about the title. I can't even tell you how many times I've changed the title of this post, because apparently everything looks AI now! So Nkechi used to have a friend whom she’d known for about nine years. She said they were close friends and shared almost everything about their lives.

Dear Intentional Reader, It’s the 30th of June; a day with pluvial weather. I love it when it rains, but the way it’s been raining over the past few days is beginning to annoy me! All kinds of creatures ( I’m referring to crawling animals and insects in this context, but I h@te them so much, hence the exaggeration) are beginning to crawl out because the flood has chased out of their habitats. Two nights ago, a centipede crawled into the house while I was working out. I cried for real, and I was sure my neighbors heard me. I thought of going out to knock on a neighbor’s door — preferably a male to help me kill it, but then I summoned courage and killed the b@$t@rd!! Excuse my choice of language, please.

It’s the wee hours of the 11th of June; I had just finished my workout and headed to the shower — thinking about how I have to make sure I read a page or two of the book I’m currently reading before I sleep — and then it struck me, “Moxie, you’re changing.” At that moment, I felt very proud of myself, so while I was in the shower, I started thinking about it. I think I’ve healed a lot of things within myself. Sometimes we don’t even realize we need healing. When you hear words like therapy or healing, you assume they’re only for people with obvious issues, but that’s not necessarily true. The more you understand yourself, the more you begin to question why you behave the way you do. Sometimes, you realise that certain habits and reactions have a lot to do with how you were raised, the people you grew up around, the company you keep, or simply the things you’ve become so used to that you hardly question them anymore. Here are some of the changes I’ve noticed in myself: 1. I no longer fe...

Dear Intentional Reader, I think as we grow older and become adults, friendships ending without a fight become inevitable. People rarely talk about these kind of friendships that end peacefully: no dramatic argument, no blocked numbers, no final speech.

Every year when February approaches, the internet starts screaming in red. Everyone is talking about Valentine's Day except me and you, maybe? That is if you don't care about Valentine's Day. It's not like I've never cared about it all my life. I used to, but if I'm being honest about it, it was because of pressure; and I was way younger then. The pressure is lowkey still there, but now I have more control over it! Today I chose to put my thoughts into writing, so hi there, thank you for stopping by. I appreciate you taking your time to read this piece.

     Dear Intentional Reader, Before you start reading, pause for a moment and breathe. Focus on exhaling. Breathe in. Hold for six seconds. Now breathe out. This post is for women—especially African women. That breathing exercise wasn’t random; it was intentional, meant to help you release stress, soften your body, and return to calm. This piece was inspired by conversations I’ve had with a couple of female friends, as well as recurring discussions I see online. I’ve heard men — and even women say that African women are “too hard,” “too aggre$$ive,” or “not feminine enough.” Let's talk about why that is so from my perspective. Disclaimer: While reading, remember this doesn't apply to every African woman, nor is it the reality in every African home. I am coming from the angle of women whose "h@rd girl" behavior was shaped or influenced by these experiences growing up. From childhood, the typical African girl child is often unintentionally raised with survival instinct...

I’m not even going to lie, I’m not a morning person; that’s when I enjoy my sleep the most, but recent responsibilities have forced me to be one, and lately I found a way around it, and I thought to share.  Mornings used to feel like a blur for me—my alarm ringing in my ears, me thinking if I really have to wake up, and me wondering why I’m always the last person to wake up and start my day. Then I decided I needed to change. I experimented, failed, and finally tweaked a morning routine that actually works for me. And guess what? My productivity skyrocketed.

Dear Intentional Reader,  There’s this social media post that usually gets on my nerves—the one the caption begins with “A woman is supposed to…”, or the ones that start like, "As a woman...". Home training and modesty would never let me comment " S T F U", but I can't stand them! From a young age, I knew what I wanted. My mum gave me the freedom to think, question, and choose for myself, and that gift shaped everything that followed. I grew up being a curious kid—questioning traditions, norms, and expectations that were treated as unquestionable truths, and I still do.

Let me start by saying that I'm not a love nor a relationship expert; but I've found these to be true. Growing up, I never questioned what love is because I had a lot of it from my family; and I'll simply tell anyone that love is genuine care, and selflessness.  I once read a Christian book that said that Agape Love is the purest form of love, but I'm not defining what love is, or is not, today! Below, I'll be sharing some psychological facts about love especially for romantic relationships. Photo Credit : Unsplash

I was listening to gospel music today, and I started thinking about certain things; and one of them was fear. I asked myself what I'm afraid of, and my answer was weakness . I don't like to show weakness, nor vulnerability; and if you ever experience that part of me, then I really love, and trust you a lot. I generally don't like pity nor sympathy from anyone. If you ever going to do something for me, then let it be out of love, not out of sympathy, or pity.  Photo credit : Times Of India When I lost my parents, I barely told anyone; and even when I posted about it, I ended it with, "please don't tell me sorry". I lost the human that loved me the most - my mum; and I may never be able to get her love and understanding from any human again. De@th is a part of life so I don't worry so much about that. However, I decided to share this - maybe it will encourage someone - there is nothing you lose that you can't get back except a loved one!

Dear Intentional Reader,  Sighs in exhaustion...  We live in a generation where people feel like, or think that if you aren't posting or sharing every moment of your life on social media, then nothing good is happening to you, and you're sad. I’ll be sharing this based on my personal experience, but let me explain what it means to live a private life. It means not sharing every personal detail about your life publicly. However, privacy is not the same as secrecy because people often confuse the two. Also, living a private life doesn't mean that you shouldn’t ask for help when you're in dire need of it. As an otrovert (by the way, I used to think I was introverted until this word was created by Dr. Rami Kaminski, and it explains exactly who I am, and no, it is not the same with "ambivert"), I keep most personal stuff to myself, but I used to trust easily until I learned the hard way. I learned that not everyone means well for you, and the scary part of i...

You ever had doubts on whether a man truly wants you or not? You take them seriously but you are not sure if they’re taking you seriously too.  Below are four glaring signs a man doesn’t care about being with you: 

Dear Intentional Reader,  Thank you for stopping by. So few days ago, I did some thinking, and reflected on my behavior. I realized that it's been a couple of things I used to do that I don't do anymore. To me, it was growth, and I was truly proud of it, and thought to share because you may find them helpful! Here are 10 things I’ve stopped doing:

Dear Intentional Reader,  Sometimes we don’t even know we tell ourselves these lies. They’re often disguised as beliefs which I’ve come to understand that not all beliefs are facts; and these ones I’m about to share with you are just typical examples of lies we often tell ourselves!.. sorry. Since we barely discuss money with friends, acquaintances, or family, we often find ourselves dwelling on these beliefs for a long time until we’re out of money, and maybe realize how much we’ve fxxked up.

Dear Intentional Reader,  These are some of the steps I took towards having a stronger hold of my emotions; and I hope you find it helpful! 1. Trust the timing of your life, not someone else’s. 2. Break free from the rules you place on yourself . “Should“, “Shouldn’t“, “I better do”. Strive to be true to yourself instead. Image credit : Health shot

Dear Intentional Reader,  Let me start by saying that you can’t make anyone who doesn’t want to come back, to come back but these steps may work if they still love you so it’s worth a try! Following my last post on “How to get over an ex you still love”, I said I was going to write about this too because I also know how hard it can be to get over someone — especially when it seems they have moved on, and you haven’t.

Dear Intentional Reader,  On this topic, I’m going to be as realistic as possible! The truth is that it’s not easy to get over someone you once loved, still love, or have memories with; and sometimes breakups or heartbreaks are tough — especially when you didn’t see them coming. I’m here to guide you on ways you can move on from someone who doesn’t want you anymore, or when it’s no longer working!  Photo credit : exbackpermanently Before I share how you can move on from an ex, I'll need you to pause for a minute, and ask yourself if this person was actually good to you, and good for you. If your answer is yes, then keep reading! If your answer is no, then you should be halfway to moving on. The first thing is to: 1. Try Again Pride aside, if this person is worth fighting for, go on and see if you can fix things — especially if you're the one who wronged them, and they initiated the breakup. Now I’m not asking you to beg! There’s a difference between a genuine apology, ...

Dear Intentional Reader,  I read a true life story of how a man set his wife @bl@ze because he was @ngry that she didn’t prepare food for him. It’s not just that she didn’t make his food, but she was literally washing his clothes at the moment he wanted food! In a typical African home, cooking is solely a woman’s responsibility hence a man doesn’t bother learning how to cook because he’s been taught that he’ll grow up someday, get married, and have his wife prepare every of his meals when he’s hungry! Image credit : Pixabay

Dear Intentional Reader,   I'm someone who believes that you either win or you learn. I do not like to use the word failure ; but for a better understanding of this post, I'll be doing that.  I know we often say life is unfair which is true; but sometimes we are the architect of our problems because of how we use our time, our mindsets, and our beliefs! Many people have so many definitions of success, and it's not always monetary; but failure's definition is more like a one size fits all clothing - which is the inability to succeed at something.